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One of the most disturbing things you can do is think about your parents and their sexual relations. Yes, it is important, natural, healthy and - let’s face it - you wouldn’t be here without it. But have you ever thought about when you were conceived? Was there a significance to the day that mom and dad may have “no pants danced” and started the process of bringing you into the world?
For some that most important moment in your life may have occurred at or around a holiday, your parent’s anniversary, their wedding night.....or, in the case of many native Nebraskans, after an important moment in Husker football history.
When it comes to moments of highest emotion, nothing can spark the libido of a Husker fan than a thrilling victory. Or salve the wounds of a devastating defeat than a roll in the hay. Could you be a product of a national championship victory? Might Billy Sims fumble in 1978 have led your parents to a turnover in the sack? Did Tom Osborne’s decision to go for two inspire your dad to just play for one? Follow our handy chart below or click this link to find your own conception day and then check over at Husker Max.com’s historical archives to see if Husker football played a role in you being here.
All dates assuming a normal gestation/pregnancy
The “Johnny the Jet Rodgers tore ‘em loose from their clothes” Babies - mid August 1972. When Rodgers’ 72 yard punt return helped the Huskers beat Oklahoma in the Game of the Century, it prompted Lyell Bremser to proclaim “Man, Woman & Child!” It may have also led to a man and a woman making a child - namely YOU! Apparently Jeff Kinney's jersey wasn't the only thing being torn off that Thanksgiving.
The “Billy Sims may have dropped the ball, but daddy didn’t” Children** - late July, early August 1979. Nebraska’s 17-14 upset of Oklahoma where OU’s Heisman Trophy winning running back Billy Sims fumbled with 3:00 to play at the Husker 3 yard line sparking a goal post vandalizing spree at Memorial Stadium. It may have also led your father to trash......uh, never mind.
**These could also be the children of the post-Missouri upset hangover the following week. Ugh, what an awful feeling that was and I bet the sex wasn't that good either.
The “Go For Two” Babies - mid September 1985. If your birthday falls around this time, it is possible that Nebraska’s failed two-point conversion in the 1984 Orange Bowl led your parents to have Husker Depression Sex. Think about that. Howard Schnellenberger is the reason you are here.
The “74 game unbeaten streak wasn’t the only streak that ended that day” Babies - late July 1960. If there was a lull in the population boom in Nebraska during the years of 1942-1962 it was because nobody felt like hooking up watching the crappy Husker football program. These are the dark times. But if there was a spike in newborns during this period, the likely time was in the summer of 1960. See, if your parents just happened to be co-eds at UNL in the fall of 1959, they were probably celebrating Nebraska’s 25-21 upset win over Oklahoma, ending OU’s 74 game conference unbeaten streak. Then when you consider that Chancellor Clifford Hardin cancelled classes the following Monday after Halloween ‘59, well...I’m sure your folks weren’t just spending their day off from school at the Miller & Paine. Or maybe it happened after sharing one of their delicious cinnamon rolls. How sweet!
The “Touchdown Tommie Fraz-aaah!” Babies - mid to late October 1992. If daddy was a Husker recruiting geek in the days before Sean Callahan, he might have coaxed mommy into a little happy time after learning of the verbal commitment of Bradenton, Florida native Tommie Frazier. And they say recruiting geeks can’t score with the ladies! Giggity!
The “National Championship” Babies - mid September 1971, 1972, 1995, 1996 or 1998 - I think this is pretty self-explanatory. By the way, how depressing is it that the children born after Tom Osborne’s first national title are going to be high school seniors this fall? No wonder their eyes gloss over when Jason Peter starts waxing poetic about the mid-90’s Huskers, they have no idea who any of those players were!**
**1996 Orange Bowl MVP Damon Benning would also like to take credit for any kids born in September of 1997 after he helped NU beat Virginia Tech in a mostly unforgettable Orange Bowl. In other words, your mom probably told your dad at the fraternity watch party - "I'll have sex with you when pigs fly, or Benning wins the MVP!"
The “Whoopie! Steve Pederson Has Been Fired” Babies - early July 2008. If you were born during the summer of incredibly high gas prices and the nomination of Barack Obama, congrats! You were conceived during a very special time in Nebraska history. It was euphoric!
Also, if you fit into this time frame and are reading this, wow! We are impressed that you understand so many big words and are happy you have ultra progressive parents who have already taught you the birds & the bees at such a young age. We also fear that one day you will be setting up camp in the newly renovated Centennial Mall in protest of the adminstration of Supreme Chancellor Heineman, you dirty liberal.
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